ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL

Feb. 07


Asleep at the Wheel


As I speed down a long, dusty, deserted highway, I slam the brakes many times.
The brakes don’t work.
I see black and emptiness to the right and left.
In the rearview mirror, I see the blood red sky fast approaching.
In front of me I see gray.
The brakes don’t work.
I cry.
I shout.
My pulse races but my heart does not beat.
Jealousy
Rage
Lust
Greed
Pride
Arrogance
Indulgence
Gossip
Murder
Slander
Bigotry
Hypocrisy
Debauchery
The view opens up in front of me.
I don’t stop.
Thoughts of jumping enter my mind.
I grab the seat belt.
The seat belt does not give.
I can’t escape.
I cry.
I scream.
I beg.
My body shakes.
My muscles swell.
My fists pound the window until they are cut and bleeding.
The glass does not break.
It is all for naught.
My body shakes.
My body sweats.
My brakes don’t work.
I see the cliff.
I am heading for destruction.
I see myself burning in the wreckage, burning in hell.
I cry to God.
I am sorry.
I want to wake up, but I am not asleep.
I want to stop.
Everything is black except the red coming up from the ravine.
I cry.
I scream.
My brakes don’t work.
My calf is numb from stomping on the brakes.
I jerk the steering wheel.
It doesn’t move.
I see the cliff.
I am almost there.
My eyes open.
My bed is soaked with sweat.
I see the morning light.
Thank you God.
Thank you Lord.
Forgive me.
Love me.
I start my day.
I start my week.
I say my prayers.
My brakes don’t work.