The Laundry List

The Laundry List – for Hiccups
Feb. 12 2009

Last night my wonderful wife had hiccups. They simply would not go away.
I suggested a spoon full of sugar.
For the hiccup of it, I went to our copy of The Doctors Book of Home Remedies.
On page 345, in plain sight, I see the words: “Doctor Dubois’ surefire sugar cure.”
So we use the sugar and the hiccups go away. They stay away.
This blog would be over now, but I decided to read a little further.
I turned the page and saw “The Laundry List.” This is a list of suggested cures for hiccups.
Two of them immediately caught our eyes.
1-“Lift the uvula (that little boxing bag at the back of your mouth) with a spoon.”
TIMEOUT! I have one question to the person who tried this. How long did it take you to clean the puke up off the floor? I gag just thinking about a spoon touching my “little boxing bag.” I guess this works because just the thought of that would scare the hiccups out of a person.
I can picture the deleted scene from Valley Girl. “Like oh my gosh. Like I had the hiccups and I totally gagged myself with a spoon and like it was totally gross like for sure. I threw up all over my Madonna poster. Like wow, totally no more hiccups. For sure.”
I will stick with the sugar.
2-“Yank forcefully on the tongue.”
WHAT?
I tried it last night. It hurts. Imagine the scene. Two couples meet on a cruise. The husband of one couple can’t talk. The wife is asked why. Her answer: “Back in 2002, John had the hiccups.”
I will stick to the sugar.